Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Food Blogger Battle to the Death

So I recently went to KT's blog and made a comment to her about her spreading her food writing out to more sources. She commented back to me, then I to her, and so on. This all eventually lead to her plans to take over the food blogging world, flamethrower-esque brulee torches, and theme songs. Poor Pim and Sam were also unknowingly dragged into the fray.

It was too funny not to share.

Garrett:
Congrats on spreading out your work! I'm sure it'll only bring you more opportunities!

KT:
Thank you! This is all part of my plan to take over the food blogging world, one step at a time. Like an even smaller, tastier Napoleon.

Garrett:
Take over the food blogger world? Hmm... Let's do the Battle Royal thing (rent the Japanese movie for reference). We put, you, Pim, and Sam on an island. All armed with just one random kitchen utensil. Only one of you leaves; either because you cooked the best meal, or killed the other two.

KT:
Oh dear... I read those blogs. I think I will have to opt for the violence option. I will bring my Kitchen-Aide mixer with a really long and pointy attachment (coated with deadly poison, of course) so that I can just stand far away and let my appliance go to work. Either that or a souped up brulee torch that ends up being more like a flamethrower.

And some stilettos. And a really cute kicking-ass outfit. Because really... if you're about to kill for the sake of food blogging, you had BETTER look good while you do it. Or else it's just a joke.

Garrett:
I agree. A mask and a theme song couldn't hurt either.

OMG, I think I have to post this conversation. It's too awesome not to. (As you can see, I have...)

KT:
Yes! I've always wanted a theme song, anyway ... I already have a theme song in my head, composed by Henry Mancini. I just don't know how to get it outside of my head and into the real world. I also would appreciate a theme song's magical powers of speeding up time and making every day life more interesting.

Garrett:
I would pick something with a built in light show, rock violin, and maybe an action pose or two. Shoot, I'm entering the compeition too now. Equipped with either a set of sharp forks (how me mother taught us kids table manners; a fork in the arm. ouch.) or a giant insane sheet of super nori to wrap up my foes and then toss them into the ocean. Sweeeeet.

KT:
Oh oh... sounds deadly... I'd better start training now. I do hope that your theme music comes with lasers and that your outfit incorporates some kind of cape.

Garrett:
But of course! No cape though. I watched The Incredibles. "No! NO CAPES!"

8 comments:

  1. Sounds like some interesting blog banter ;)

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  2. I make it no secret that I would like to try human flesh some day, which would make my desire to win this particular food blogger battle even stronger. I think my readers would be into it as well. They absolutely know I would blog the whole event, lots of pictures, maybe even live from cell phone? I would include recipes and tasting notes. Maybe even do a comaprative taste test between the KT and the Pim.

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  3. *I just died laughing from the last sentence*

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  4. I am sure that I am delicious. However. I have taken model mugging, kickboxing, and regular boxing.

    Just keep that in mind before you whip out your knife and fork.

    Is it weird that mixed in with my strong desire NOT to be killed and eaten, is a small amount of curiosity as to how I would taste?

    I think I taste like vanilla. But don't tell Sam.

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  5. Oh darlin', if you taste like vanilla, I plan to kill you myself make you into the next batch of cupcakes.

    I bet I taste like well marinated flank steak. *nibbling my arm*

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  6. model mugging?

    Phew, that's ok, I ain't no model...

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  7. I see that my evil plan is working. You see, I quietly lie in the shadows awaiting the moment that these three simultaneously fall forward into a collective pool of their blood. I'll be one step closer to conquering the self-proclaimed Napoleons! I prefer traveling down the road of least resistance to the TOP!!! *insert evil laugh here* hehehehheee

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  8. please make me into boudin noir

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~Garrett