I am at home today, instead of at work. My voice is searing and scratchy and my head is splitting. I didn't so much sleep last night as I took the place of a race horse at the Derby. Rob slept on the couch I was having such a seizure in bed. So I woke up in more pain than I was in when I watched The Ring 2.
I, with my fear of medicine (I would rather suck a hooker's big toe then take cough medicine) actually took four Vicadin. I am, by the way, notoriously immune to pain killers, as any doctor and dentist can tell you as they have to repeatedly shoot me up with enough tranqs to O.D. a bull elephant. So no worries about me sprawled out on the couch drooling on myself while death laughs over me. I mean, I'm typing, aren't I?
So here I am. Mute. Awake. Numb to the world around me.
I hate taking sick days when I'm actually sick. I feel cheated. It takes the love out of something I normally adore, but hey sometimes we hate the things we normally adore.
It's not always love of food here either. Sometimes it's the hate. Like any obsessed nerd, I know where certain things don't work or outright fail. In Xena it was the off screen death of Amarice (see how I back up that nerd thing here?), in food it is the following:
1) The word "Surprise" - To me the word "surprise" translates to "threw so much crap into the dish, I don't even know what it tastes like anymore". Big no-no.
2) Lavender - I do not like lavender in my food. I have had it once in a salt rub on turkey which was great, but with that one exception it belongs in decorative pillows and not on my plate.
3) Small plates as entrées - If I can't tell the difference between an appetizer and a entrée at a restaurant, then methinks I am being ripped off.
4) Raw Food Movement restaurants - Raw garlic, cactus, and kelp soup that comes from a blender to a bowl in front of you is wrong. Just wrong. Being charged $10 for it was even worse. After seeing a menu I showed the friend who wanted to eat there for dinner how to do the whole thing at home. For free. Because it's not like there was any actual cooking involved. Total rip-off. From what I understand, the place closed.
5) Hot Pockets - A reluctant hate. They taste so damn good. But it's infuriating trying to microwave them for peak temperature. Gotta love that ice cube in the center surrounded by molten lava burn your tongue so bad you can't taste anything for weeks and the bread hid the actual skin graft inducing temperatures cheese and tomato sauce.
6) BONUS! Food Poisoning. The rampant STD of the food world.
Anyone else have one or a list of things in any aspect of the food world you can't stand? Feel free to post them in the comments section. Remember each comment helps me get better.