Thursday, December 24, 2009

"The Twice Baked Christmas" A Holiday Nursery Rhyme

-A little annual Christmas tradition on Vanilla Garlic. Happy Holidays everyone!-
"The Twice Baked Christmas"Sitting down on the couch while reading a book
I enjoyed a moment of silence, something I had forsook.
Earlier that day I had been baking all kinds of bread,
For this Christmas I had dozens who had to be fed.

There were crumpets and muffins, with berries by the pound.
Croissants and cupcakes where the frosting did mound.
The challah was braided, the sticky buns rolled,
All wrapped up so pretty it could have been sold.

The last batch of cookies were cooling on racks,
The kitchen been cleaned, the trash all in sacks.
When from my sweet reading I heard noise! Such a clamour!
It sounded like the plates were being smashed with a hammer!

I ran to the kitchen to see what had caused racket this hour
When there was a black cat all covered in flour.
The cookies all eaten, the crumbs on his face,
He was so full and so fat he could not move a pace.

The wrapping paper shredded, the goods all devoured,
The cat he then saw me and thus he so cowered.
He then took off like a bolt, a dark streak of light.
I could not have caught him, it was pointless to fight.

I called out, "Kitty-kat, what have you done!
This food was for family and friends, every bun!
They cannot eat nothing, it's Christmas today!
They all will be hungry, this sad holiday."

He then sulked on in, the fatty feline,
He felt guilty for eating all that had taken such time.
Meowing, "I am so sorry, I couldn't resist.
It all smelled so tempting, tastes I couldn't have missed!"

"Please let me help make all the pastries again,
Together we'll bake up a hundred times ten!"
I agreed and accepted his apology
And so we began our late-baking spree.

The next morning we finished, the flour all spent
The eggs had been cracked, the sugar had went.
But that Christmas day, the bread was all gifted
Bellies were full! Spirits were lifted!

And so that here ends a near holiday disaster,
A good thing, it couldn't have been solved any faster.
And so from the two of us, we hope you do take
A lesson which is this: Watch everything that you bake.

Happy Holidays from Garrett and Eat Beast!
Picture by Janelle Persinger


  1. that was great.. I love your Eat Beast.. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

  2. Merry Christmas and thank you for such a fun blog!
    I was a little afraid this poem would end with the cat getting cooked. . . : )
    Best regards,

  3. That's absolutely hilarious Garrett! I can just imagine that cat of yours covered with flour and caught in the act. Merry Christmas!

  4. We recently got a cat- not entirely by choice. It somehow found its way into our flat and now it's pretty darn hard to get rid of. It eats things too. I had to bin some chicken stock I'd made because I discovered the cat sitting on the kitchen worksurface, lapping it up.

    I hope you had a great Christmas despite Mace's attempts to destroy it. Happy New Year! xx

  5. I too have a black fat-cat at home... gotta love it! :) Happy holidays!

  6. Very nice. Merry Christmas!

  7. This would make an adorable little Christmas book! I suddenly feel like drawing the cute little scenes.
    Good job

  8. Must be something about those all black pets! I have a twice-baked lemon cake story because our black lab Tess decided she wanted to sample the freshly baked one on the counter!
    Hope your holidays are happy!

  9. That was the most adorable poem. Thanks for sharing.

    From one cat lover to another.

  10. Oh, Mace. This is why we love [and hide food from] you.


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