My Day: Fresh Cherry + Coconut Scones

Monday, August 4, 2014

-God damn it all…-

How was your day?

Really? That's super awesome.

My day? Oh my day was utter godamnitallfuckery.

The day began with the fact that it is the first of the month. Ostensibly, it's a great day because at my work, a local nonprofit, this is the day that pledge payments are processed and new donations are recorded in the books. It means we can pay bills, do payroll, and generally keep our education programs a-runnin'. For me, this means I process every single one of these payments and touch base with every single donor. While rewarding and necessary it can also be hectic and tiring dealing with complaints, lost payments, and documenting every single piece of information in numerous ways for various departments. There are reports to generate, calls to make, mailings to file through, and so on and so forth.

And today, of course, every step of the way imploded on itself like a dying star with the gravitational pull to yank in extra bullshit to boot.

Oh, and let's talk about bullshit.

Or, in this case, corgi shit.

It was everywhere when I came home. Jack the Corgi apparently suffered some stomach discomfort and released his bowels all over the house. Well, not all over the house. Just rooms with new carpet in them because why not, right?

And not just poop. Diarrhea.

The soupiest kind.

Forty-five minutes later it's cleaned and out the door I go to meet friends at a conference. After being ripped off for parking, paying $10 at a lot behind a construction site I began to make my way to the Sacramento Conference Center.

Until a man slammed into me and attempted to snatch and grab my camera case with camera and backup batteries therein. Luckily, I had a firm grip on the handle so the guy just jerked me along for a step. After about a half second of realizing I was still attached to the camera and me coming to terms that I was being robbed I picked up my heel and drove it into the side of his kneecap. He let go and took off fleeing on pure adrenaline.

The whole mess took place in about five seconds. In broad daylight. On a major street. In Sacramento.

On the plus side I think I did damage. With luck he's crippled. Hopefully forever.

And that's all there is to that story. I feel like sharing it because I need to just yell a bit. Please, save the advice on what to do next. I don't want to hear it. Love you all, but leave it be. I can't even remember what he looked like outside of male and maybe-not-white.

SO YES. That was my Friday.

So this morning I made scones. Cherry and coconut scones because these two flavors make me happy and simple joys are what's required in times of goddamitallfuckery.

These scones are easy to toss together taking all of four minutes with a scale. They're also far more forgiving than, apparently, me. Cream can be used in place of coconut milk, and I'm sure your favorite berry could substitute the cherries. Slather them with honey while still warm and serve with black coffee (or sweetened with honey and a splash of coconut milk, if that's how you do).

Cherry + Coconut Scones
Makes 6-8 scones

6.5 ounces flour, plus extra for dusting
1.5 ounces sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1.5 ounces shredded coconut
1 cup pitted and halved cherries
6.5 ounces coconut milk

1. Whisk together the bread flour, salt, sugar, shredded coconut, and baking powder.

2. Add the cherries and give it all a quick toss. Next, add the coconut milk and use your hands to gently bring together the ingredients. If you need to add a bit more cream or flour then do so judiciously. The resulting dough will be sticky and clumpy. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead twice (push-squish and push-squish, done).

3. Form the dough into a disc and cut into 6-8 pieces. Brush the tops with a bit more coconut milk.

4. Bake at 425F for 10-15 minutes or until golden.


  1. Replies
    1. Nope. Traditional scones usually don't have butter as the fat comes from cream. Butter technically makes them biscuits.

  2. get over here with those scones and the black coffee. I am watching my six year old nephew and

    Seriously - wonderful! Baking always makes it all better

    1. These scones might keep the nephew busy. Put him to work! =)

  3. I know you asked for no comments on the crime, but it's possible it was caught on camera from a local business. And reporting crimes that have no hope of being solved still has a value, in that a district can point to stats and say we need more patrols here.

  4. Screaming out loud in solidarity. I like the coconut milk!

  5. Any specific cherry variety? We have a Stella cherry in our yard and they didn't really bake well (in a cobbler). They turned almost mushy.

  6. This looks great! Does the recipe call for AP flour, or bread flour?

    1. Scone batter is mixed as little as possible to avoid gluten development which makes them tough. Bread flower has more gluten so AP is the way to go.

  7. My Friday was a sh*tshow. I made scones on Saturday devoured with local wild blueberry jam shared with good people. All is right with the world...for now...

  8. These are outstanding, thank you

  9. Oh Yeah! I've got a few of those goddamitallfuckery days in my pocket.Those days that starts uncomfortable, then start to become bad. And just as you thought, that must have been enough for the day. Instead, it just keeps getting worse and worse.

    Those kind of days makes me want to enjoy every good day of my life. These cherry coconut scones would be perfect the next day.


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