Roommate Hunting + Recipes!

Monday, May 25, 2015

-And no people who don't appreciate good food. Thanks.-

No posting recently as I've been swamped with a new project - more to come on that - and finding a new roommate. A task that, if you've ever done it before, you know is fraught with eighty kinds of crazy and many previously undocumented cases of shitcan insanity.

LGBT Friendly Home

Room for rent in a recently renovated home. Close to the river, Sac State, freeways, shopping, and light rail. Beautiful and well-equipped kitchen. Personal bathroom. Plenty of parking.

We're a gay male couple, (30 and 35). Very laid back, social, and easy going. One is a photographer and security officer, and the other is a and nonprofit developer and cookbook author. We come with two chill cats, and a well-behaved but derpy corgi. We're often out of the house working, but if we're home we are likely still working (sometimes gardening, cleaning, or cooking).

Looking for a roommate who is quiet, clean, and pleasant. 420 (if you have a medical card) and alcohol is fine, but no drugs. No pets. Gay or straight welcome to apply. Preferably male and around our age.

Rent is $475 + 1/3 of electric, gas, and internet Amenities:
-washer and dryer
-fully equipped kitchen (gas, not electric)
-high speed internet
-central heat and air
-fireplace in main room
-gas grill outside
-no water, sewage, or garbage bills
-14 fruit trees on the property
-guest room if you have out of town guests
-wall-mounted flat screen TV available for the room if desired

Give us a ring! We would love to meet you and show you the place!

Interviewing roommates can be dodgy. After all, you're welcoming total strangers into your home. Or, at best, friends of friends. It's awkward for everyone and about as fun as putting my contacts in with a cheese grater.

Let's go through some of our candidates...

Ol' Shifty: The proper answer to my question about if you're employed is not, "I do odd jobs on Craigslist or sometimes run errands for Jimmy." That's not employment, which is a concern to me as the person who needs to collect the rent. And who is Jimmy? I assume that's the guy who you sell crystal meth for? Eek.

Crazyface: Ever meet someone and they just have a look on their face that says, "You have beautiful eyes. I wonder what they would look like in a jar?" Well, I have...

Moonchild: He stared way too intently at Eat Beast during the time I was explaining the lease. When I inquired if he had any questions the only one: "What is Eat Beast's astrological sign? I feel he's a Taurus, like me." He then asked if he could dowse the house's energy. I jovially told him I burned sage and put lines of salt around the house when we moved in. He nodded gravely and agreed that both were wise decisions. I gather that even if I had given that joke a parade it would have passed right by him unnoticed.

Nope nope nope: "I'm looking for a room that me and my four chihuahuas can live in."

The Nudist: Look, I'm generally okay with nudity assuming it's just me and my hubby at home. However, I don't want to come home from work and be assaulted by your bits. At least he only kicked off his shoes during the interview.

Ugh… and so the hunt continues. Until then, I recommend you go to the following for some nifty food posts:

Chaos By Choice: Polenta Fruit and Jam Cake

Monday, April 27, 2015

-Tasty cakes for when things are literally being torn down around you.-

My bare feet are currently covered dust. Ceiling dust, mind you. Let's be very specific. It is dust from the ceiling as opposed to common floor dust. This fact alone is alarming because it's very difficult to get ceiling on your feet.

Then again, so it is with home repair. The odd often becomes quite unsurprising, if not altogether lackluster and common. Wires reaching out from gaping holes in the wall. Water pooling about in the living room. The fridge is also screaming at me in a shrill tone. Something to do with the wiring in the wall that my contractor was working on set another something off. Now it sounds like a warning alarm, as if the condiments and produce are preparing to storm the kitchen and I should bastion myself in the bedroom before their revolution begins. (Can you hear the pea shoots sing?)

We're finally getting around to a bit of home repair - some necessary electrical work in the walls and a few minor upgrades while we're crawling about the attic. There's reggae music and conversations in Oaxacan dialect serenading me from above and it's all rather surreal if not also somewhat entertaining. If you've never heard Bob Marley's, "Jamming," in Spanish while people saw apart your home it's quite the auditory mindfuck.

Gone But Still Here: Coffee Bean Chocolate Chip Cookies

Sunday, April 19, 2015

-"There's milk in the fridge.-

(Originally posted in 2011)

Brian has been rather busy lately and as such I barely see him it seems.

I don't think I've actually ever explained what he does. He's in the army reserves (the threat of deployment always hovering) as a staff sergeant and CPR/First Aid instructor. He also goes to school for his EMT license, which is insane as he's a seasoned combat medic with the army, but somehow the fact that he can patch up a collapsed lung under gunfire the civilian world says he still isn't qualified to be a basic nurse. During all this he just picked up work doing security. It's not a job he is thrilled with, but he likes his coworkers, it works around his school schedule, and pays him rather well.

The serious downside to his job is that as he's the new guy he gets the crap schedule. This means late night and swing shifts on random days. It means when I get home from my 8-5, he's already left for his 5-1.

It means we can go days without seeing each other.

And it sucks.

Passover Potluck: Honeyed Kumquats

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

So this thing right here. This.

You want this.

Kumquats preserved in honey.

It is all that it sounds to be. Sultry, sexy, seductive. Kosher. (Sexy kosher.)

I've teamed up with the ever fabulous history buff and kitchen scholar, Tori Avey, for her annual Passover Potluck. She challenged a few non-Jewish food bloggers to try and cook something nifty following the proper Passover culinary guidelines. For a lapsed Lutheran like myself than meant kumquats and honey.

I highly recommend it, so get yourself over to and check it out.

Vanilla Garlic All rights reserved © Blog Milk Powered by Blogger