Roommate Hunting + Recipes!

Monday, May 25, 2015

-And no people who don't appreciate good food. Thanks.-

No posting recently as I've been swamped with a new project - more to come on that - and finding a new roommate. A task that, if you've ever done it before, you know is fraught with eighty kinds of crazy and many previously undocumented cases of shitcan insanity.

LGBT Friendly Home

Room for rent in a recently renovated home. Close to the river, Sac State, freeways, shopping, and light rail. Beautiful and well-equipped kitchen. Personal bathroom. Plenty of parking.

We're a gay male couple, (30 and 35). Very laid back, social, and easy going. One is a photographer and security officer, and the other is a and nonprofit developer and cookbook author. We come with two chill cats, and a well-behaved but derpy corgi. We're often out of the house working, but if we're home we are likely still working (sometimes gardening, cleaning, or cooking).

Looking for a roommate who is quiet, clean, and pleasant. 420 (if you have a medical card) and alcohol is fine, but no drugs. No pets. Gay or straight welcome to apply. Preferably male and around our age.

Rent is $475 + 1/3 of electric, gas, and internet Amenities:
-washer and dryer
-fully equipped kitchen (gas, not electric)
-high speed internet
-central heat and air
-fireplace in main room
-gas grill outside
-no water, sewage, or garbage bills
-14 fruit trees on the property
-guest room if you have out of town guests
-wall-mounted flat screen TV available for the room if desired

Give us a ring! We would love to meet you and show you the place!

Interviewing roommates can be dodgy. After all, you're welcoming total strangers into your home. Or, at best, friends of friends. It's awkward for everyone and about as fun as putting my contacts in with a cheese grater.

Let's go through some of our candidates...

Ol' Shifty: The proper answer to my question about if you're employed is not, "I do odd jobs on Craigslist or sometimes run errands for Jimmy." That's not employment, which is a concern to me as the person who needs to collect the rent. And who is Jimmy? I assume that's the guy who you sell crystal meth for? Eek.

Crazyface: Ever meet someone and they just have a look on their face that says, "You have beautiful eyes. I wonder what they would look like in a jar?" Well, I have...

Moonchild: He stared way too intently at Eat Beast during the time I was explaining the lease. When I inquired if he had any questions the only one: "What is Eat Beast's astrological sign? I feel he's a Taurus, like me." He then asked if he could dowse the house's energy. I jovially told him I burned sage and put lines of salt around the house when we moved in. He nodded gravely and agreed that both were wise decisions. I gather that even if I had given that joke a parade it would have passed right by him unnoticed.

Nope nope nope: "I'm looking for a room that me and my four chihuahuas can live in."

The Nudist: Look, I'm generally okay with nudity assuming it's just me and my hubby at home. However, I don't want to come home from work and be assaulted by your bits. At least he only kicked off his shoes during the interview.

Ugh… and so the hunt continues. Until then, I recommend you go to the following for some nifty food posts:


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