So you're at field training this entire month with the army in the middle of nowhere Kentucky (though "nowhere" might be too general a description for that state) working on building your medical skills. It's noble of you and I'm proud of you, and even though I know you're bitching about it we both know part of you loves the military camaraderie and the fact that you get to build your knowledge base. It sorta makes it worth all the physical training and three in the morning.
I get to sleep at three in the morning. So, you know, ha ha.
I'm proud of you for what you do for your career, your education, and the fact that you do this for me, too. Alas, we both know I hate when you leave. I never handle it well.
Remember the first time you were going to be gone for three months? The night before you left I had a panic attack so bad I earned myself a hospital visit where the doctor drugged me higher than a cat on a car trip and put me on oxygen because I was hyperventilating so bad my heart almost popped like a kernel of corn over an open flame.
We both know I'm much better now. I only have a small bout of depression and get a tiny void that I try to fill with sex (insert dirty pun here) in the days before you leave, and with bottles of wine and too much exercise when you're actually gone.
Sleeping by myself is also a pain. I'm not used to it. The cats snuggle up plenty, and when you're gone I'll occasionally grant the dog permission to come cuddle up on the bed for the night. Still, they're sprawlers and terrible snugglers. I think Eat Beast tries his best to fill in for you, but sleeping on my face and burying my ability to breathe with a landslide of fuzzy chub isn't the same thing as being spooned.
As for the Corgi, he's like trying to sleep with a tiny boulder making the bed sag towards the middle. Plus, he's been having puppy nightmares. Remember how he barks in his sleep? I think he's having nightmares of his ongoing war with the vacuum, and a two A.M. the fear-riddled screams and/or war cries on his part don't make for a good night's rest for me.
Cooking is also hard without you because cooking for one just isn't easy. I mean, I used to be so phenomenal at it back when I was single. Often, I just cooked for two, ate one serving that night, and salted the leftovers with my lonesome tears for lunch the next day.
I suppose I had company sometimes so that helped. Still, most nights it's just me so I just end up cooking for two and now salt the leftovers with napalming of rooster sauce.
I miss that alimentary relationship we have every day.
You aren't here for V-Day. That's actually fine. Let's be honest... we don't celebrate it. You randomly bring me flowers from time to time and I surprise you with tacos from our favorite taco truck after you've had a long day. We charm and romance each other throughout the year and that's something special, I think.
So, we never really do anything to make note of February 14th... we go out for dinner on the 13th or make something nice the day of, but let's be real: We Don't Need V-Day.
Still, I made this recipe for you. It's chocolate; your favorite. Paired with chocolate; your other favorite. Oh, and I added more chocolate, too, in both chips and nibs form so I think you'll like them.
There will be a batch waiting for you when you get home.
Be good. Work hard. Kick some ass.
See you soon.
Triple Chocolate Cookies
A riff off of my lime and cocoa nib cookie recipe
1 cup of butter, softened
3/4 cup of brown sugar
3/4 cup of white granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
2 1/2 teaspoons of heavy cream
1 3/4 cups of all-purpose flour
3/4 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon of baking soda
1/2 teaspoon of baking powder
1 teaspoon of kosher salt
3/4 cup of cocoa nibs
1 cup dark chocolate chips
1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Beat the butter and sugars together for about two minutes at medium speed or until well incorporated and light in color. Add the egg, cream, and vanilla extract until well incorporated, about a minute. Be sure to scrape down the sides and the bottom of the bowl halfway through.
2. Sift together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cocoa powder. Add to the butter mixture slowly, and beating at medium speed, stopping once all of it is incorporated (do not overmix). Fold in the cocoa nibs and chocolate chips.
3. Take small spoonfuls of the dough and roll into one inch sized balls and place onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Let cool on the pan for a few minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.