Preggers and The Peon

Monday, November 24, 2008

From the Archives, because finals are approaching as is Turkey Day, so time to write very hard to find. Blame my professors and/or the pilgrims.

So today at the nearby coffee shop, I was waiting for a friend to get their drink while I quietly sipped my tea patiently aside. Then suddenly:

"What do you mean no free re-fills!?"

"Sir, I'm sorry," said the high school age, part time, coffee shop person behind the counter. "We don't offer re-fills on mochas."

"WHAT KIND OF COMMUNIST COFFEE SHOP IS THIS!?!?" as he slammed his fist on the counter.

This guy was totally losing it. Like might start waving a gun and offing people losing it. The poor girl was petrified. As was pretty much everyone else. The whole place went silent. Where the hell was the management?

"I'm sorry sir," she trembled and stuttered, trying to find her words," I don't think any place does."

"BULLSHIT!"

Now, I dunno where this guy normally gets his coffee, but mochas are expensive things to make when it comes down to coffee shops because the large amounts of chocolate they need to purchase are one of the costliest ingredients to stock. Doing free refills would be asking for a small piece of financial doom. The Peon however, was in no mood to hear it.

"What kind of place is this!? Where people like you try to rip off good people. You-" The Peon thrusted his finger at her for emphasis and out of sheer poo-headedness,"-are why people can't be trusted in this country! Just give me my fucking mocha!"

I was wondering where he came to that conclusion, but also wanting to step in and say something, but I, my friend, and everyone else is equally frozen in their spots. And as much as I wanted to say something, the whole he might have a gun thought edged it's way into my mind. I'm sure I'm not the only one. It's a sad state when that's the first thought to enter a person's mind when placed in a situation like this.

"Would you shut up. You're scaring the poor girl, and if anybody is a problem here, it's you." A powerful voice cuts the thick tension.

I turned to see the largely pregnant woman with a steaming cup in one hand, and her other hand resting on her hip giving the man a look that asked who-the-hell-and-what-for-?.

The Peon turned to his new assailant, "You stay out of my business lady! What the hell do you know!? Should a pregnant lady even be drinking coffee!?"

"It's tea dumbass, and in a second it's gonna be a direct cause of skin grafts in between your legs if you don't shut the hell up. Now get along before you have to explain to people a pregnant woman kicked your ass."

He shut up. I guess The Peon wasn't used to people challenging him. Realizing Preggers would probably follow through on her threat, he gave her a quick "fuck you" before turning to leave and screaming he'd never come here again.

"Some people..." she muttered.

I smiled and turned to her. "Lady, I think you just said everything I ever wanted to say when I worked in a coffee shop."

Everyone started applauding her.

The girl behind the counter chimed in, "Wow. What the hell was his problem? My god, I wish I could have said that. That was awesome."

"Honey," Preggers noted, "when you work in a truck stop for four years, these coffee nuts are nuthin'."

Damn. Don't mess with those pregnant truck stop women. They will MESS. YOU. UP. And remember to be courteous when ordering coffee; one of them could be right behind you.

44 comments:

  1. ha-that's a good one.

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  2. That's the best full-length Eatsdropping ever! Too bad the girl behind the counter wasn't jaded enough to just proffer, "Lids and creamer are to your left..."

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  3. Great post!! :):) And I'd sure like to find a coffee shop that gave free re-fills on their mochas, or lattes.

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  4. Wow! small world -- jumped over from erin's kitchen blog after seeing that you bear a semblance to the Cal Aggie dude (don't believe we really met, was a reporter -- and my face never showed on the paper!)

    Well met and nice blog, and I love vanilla & garlic too (though I'd have to be creative to make a recipe that combines the two.)

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  5. That kind of stuff doesn't happen much here. Thankfully.
    What a turd though!

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  6. That pregnant lady must have had some balls inside that belly ;)

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  7. Just listened to the first podcast. HIGH-LARIOUS.

    I have to say that I enjoyed the that the blueberry curd was thick. I like my lemon curd thick too.

    But that is me.

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  8. Haaha...Good for her! thats awesome!

    I read your comment on the Indian Cakes...will email you a couple recipes...and we also make a *spicy* semolina Cake, you want the recipe for that too?? lemme know.

    thanks for the morning chuckle!

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  9. I really don't understand why people think it's ok to yell and act that way anywhere, let alone in public! Just because someone works somewhere that you think it beneath you, (which is the case with most of these cases...I used to work retail and people were forever acting like this guy because they thought we were beneath them for working in a department store!), you have no right to treat someone that way! It really bothers me that there are so many people out there that think it's ok to scream, yell and berate people when things don't go their way, or the way they think it should. There's no such thing as a free lunch...Someone should tell that jerk! It's simply not ok to act that way! I would have loved to see the pregnant lady put him in his place! :)

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  10. Love that woman. Sad thing is that I work with people that act like that everyday.

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  11. GOOO PREGGERS, YEAAH! :D Boo to scary dude. I think I would've wanted to cry if I were that high school girl.

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  12. OMG! What a freak! Good for preggers for stepping in. Now days with all the shootings happening that took some real nerve.

    Free mocha my ass. What a nut!

    And you're right. Where was the f-ing manager?

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  13. Excellent story! The power of hormones which apparently make you fearless!

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  14. I'd just have to point out that, wouldn't a communist coffee shop be more likely to give out "free" refills than a non-communist one. Just thinking out loud.

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  15. That was a great story. Sounds like a scene in a movie.

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  16. classic, Garret! Thanks for sharing!

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  17. You get free refills?? I think that guy might just explode if he came to visit us in the UK. We get NO free refills, not even for water!!
    Great story!

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  18. OMG, so freakin funny. Truck Stop Preggers is my HERO!! Great Post! Headin for the Podcast NOW!
    --Josette

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  19. Great story, thanks for writing it up in full detail :)

    That's awesome you're starting a podcast! I'll check it out soon.

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  20. Thanks for that. Came at the right time as had a complete dickhead on the phone today, also complaining about nothing. He also took pains to point out that I was 'from the African continent' - so what?

    I can never get why people talk down to those who work in the service industry, and why they always make their attacks personal? Does no one know how to criticise a company without attacking its employees anymore?

    Listening to the podcast now - at the bit where you describe different cocktails... is good. Also, it is my first ever podcast to listen to...

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  21. riiighhhhtttt the only thing ever to be refilled is brewed coffee. lattes or mochas! milk isn't free u know. now i appreciate my customers at the cafe so much work.

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  22. Wow, what a tough broad. Her kid is not going to get away with anything!

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  23. That was fucking hysterical, Garret. I sort of want that coffee shop to be MY coffee shop now.

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  24. Omg, thats some funny stuff. I hate awful customers, especially when its CLEARLY not your fault. =)

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  25. Wow. Would've loved to have seen that. Priceless!

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  26. That's quite possibly the best coffee shop story ever. I think I might have fallen out of my chair laughing if I'd been there!

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  27. Good for her! Someone needs to stand some to jerks who abuse poor innocent service people.

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  28. (shudder) I hate rude people, and I love it when people stand up to them.

    I almost missed your podcast--that deserved its own special post!! Pretty darn good for a first podcast, and better than many other "amatuer" podcasts I have heard.

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  29. you are funny. really funny. as in 'take a deep breath and don't splatter your monitor' funny. love your blog.

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  30. beautiful
    -that makes me want to hang out in coffee shops simply to wait for the opportunity to berate a schmucky customer.

    not that I'm pregnant ;)

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  31. Found your blog through a link from a link from a link. Sorta like 5 degrees of separation. Thanks for my Friday afternoon laugh.

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  32. I had a customer pull this on me when I worked at a hair salon as a receptionist. I was 4 months pregnant and he was insane. I ended up going to the back and crying, he scared the sh*t out of me.

    Good for that pregnant lady for standing up- I wish I had had the gall to do that back then! Instead I was crying like a little girl! (Damn preggo hormones!)

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  33. Garret.
    There is something all-powerful about a pregnant woman. Priorities change, hormones send you off into new realms and your bullshit detector is on hyperdrive. I have seen a very angry pregnant woman threaten to give birth in the tube ( London Underground) when noone offered her a seat in the July heat. I have never seen a carriage empty so quickly.
    Charlotte

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  34. I think that story just made my day.

    And kaffir lime ganache is genius.

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  35. OMG Garrett, that's hilarious! Way to go truck stop lady!

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  36. "Don't mess with those pregnant truck stop women."

    Duly noted.

    Duly freakin' noted!

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  37. That absolutely made my day. Thanks for the post. Good luck with turkey and finals.

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  38. I can't wait to be pregnant and release the 30 years worth of pent up politeness and aggression on some unsuspecting random jerk in a coffee shop. Awesome story.

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  39. hehe.

    yah don't mess with a pregnant woman, much less one who use to be a truck driver LOL.


    i can understand standing between someone and their coffee though...

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  40. Ahhhh...I was hoping the story ended with..." ...and preggers got a free mocha!"...Decaffeinated of course!

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  41. Damn! What a jerk! I'm glad the pregnant truck stop lady was able to give him what he deserved. Maybe he'll think twice about trying to bully his way to a free cup of coffee!

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Hey, you're leaving a comment! That's pretty darn cool, so thanks. If you have any questions or have found an error on the site or with a recipe, please e-mail me and I will reply as soon as possible.
~Garrett

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