Rather say, "Bag of nuts."

Friday, September 12, 2008

While at Whole Foods I was filling up on rice at the bulk aisle, while a woman next to me was doing the same. A few bins down a five year old boy was looking over bags of almonds and pistachios. He's five, sandy brown hair, innocent little look - very stereotypical "little boy".

I go back to my selecting a wild rice, a task that takes me usually about 5 minutes. Seriously, I hate having choices sometimes.

"Hey Mom! Look!"

While I'm not Mom, as if in a study in human habit, I turn and look anyways. The child has a large bag of almonds and he holds it low between his legs as if it weighed as much as he did.

"I have a HUGE nutsack!" He laughs histerically like he just invented the worlds funniest new joke.

And damn it, so do I. Others laugh as well.

The mother turns to me, smiles, rolls her eyes and says, "His older brother is so dead when we get home for teaching him this." We both laugh. She sighs, tells him to put the bag back and to, "Just... just for the love of God, you are not allowed to say nutsack."


  1. Oh man!!! My wife and I were rolling on this one!

    The other day we were in the "ladies" section of the store and my 5 year old daughter grabs a bra puts it around her chest and says "Daddy, one day I'm going to have boobies like mommy!" Of course there was a crowd of women who about died laughing. Me? Well, I figure I have about another 8 years to go before the heart attacks :)

  2. LOL !!! This is highly entertaining since I am the mother of two boys. :)

    Thanks for the laugh today.

  3. LOL You never know what you'll hear in Whole Foods.

  4. Great story! As I began reading this I assumed that it was another one of your moron encounters. Glad that you get humorous ones as well!

  5. How come my grocery shopping trips are so darned boring?

  6. Pretty brilliant recognition for a 5 year old. Must have been hilarious! I will look for him in 20 years on YouTube comedy.

  7. Like Jess I was expecting the imminent arrival of the moron punchline but it never came -but it was just as funny!

  8. Boys will be BOYS!!! Thanks for the laugh. :-)

  9. Excuse me whilst I convulse in fits of laughter on my office floor.

  10. Well, if it's true, he's going to be very popular someday.

  11. Yes, my 10 year old loves to make any kind of joke about nuts and balls. And I always laugh.

  12. How funny!
    Makes me want to savor my little boy's toddler youth.

  13. This is too funny. I just had to tell you... I read this entry a while ago and can't amke it through the 'nut aisle' without this story playing through my head.



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