Pumpkin Banter

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

"Time to die for your crimes, Jack!"

*Ssshlunk* In plunges the knife, hilt deep, into the pumpkin's personified skull.

"Jesus Christ, Garrett, can't you just carve the damn pumpkin like a normal person?" bemoans my coworker as she details a sketch of my victim's future face with Monet-like perciscion.

"No. And technically I just want the seeds to I can toast and eat them. Jack here is just a by-product of that."

"So you don't want to carve a jack-o-lantern?"

"No, I didn't say that. Honestly, I could care less about lanternizing with a squash. I mean, I think the whole process of hollowing and illuminating disfigured winter produce is creative and whimical, but for the most part this is a culinary venture for me," I note as I begin to furtively whack away at the strings that attempt to keep the pumpkin's stemmed top on.

"Whatever, just skullcap him already so we can remove his brains." Cue the eyeroll.

"Yeah, I'll remove your brains in a second."

Ah, holidays.

Happy Halloween everybody.


  1. i did my pumpkin carving today, and then roasted my carefully harvested seeds with soy sauce twice - once to thicken the sauce to coat them better, and then changed trays to allow them to crisp up. YUMMY!

  2. I'm exactly the same freaking way. I just want the seeds to toast and munch on the entire day! It's ALL I did to contribute to the holiday decorating this year.

    I'm also the dork who planted four of the sprouting seeds, helplessly praying to have my very own baby pumpkins next spring. My mom was the eye roller in this scene as I talked baby talk to the little seedlings.


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