Coconut Milk Cheese

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

A small exchange that took place a few minutes ago...

Co-Worker: Where can I buy coconut milk cheese?

Me: I'm sorry? No, um, you can't buy it.

Co-Worker: Why not?

Me: Because you can't make cheese from coconut milk.

Co-Worker: But it's milk.

Me: No, it's just called coconut milk because it looks like milk. It isn't actually milk. It's juice from inside the coconut.

Co-Worker: But you make cheese from milk.

Me: Yes, milk from a cow or goat or something.

Co-Worker: So you can't make cheese from coconut milk?

Me: Nope. Sorry.

Co-Worker: I'll go ask *other co-worker* and see if she knows where I can buy it.

Because apparently, I'm an idiot and a liar. I wish him the best of luck in his search.

By the way, comments are closed and will not be posted anymore on this post. I am over stupid people arguing with me over the definition of a word and a culinary fact that's 8000 years old. If you want to call me an idiot - email me at gmmccord (at) gmail (dot) com.

On another note, there is now a cheese called Kokos. It's a Dutch gouda made with cow's milk that has coconut cream swirled into the milk. The cheese requires the milk to age the way cheese normally does. The coconut milk is simply a flavoring, like adding fennel seeds, or wrapping the outside with grape leaves. 

52 comments:

  1. maybe she can tell him where to get some bunny eggs too.... [i've tears in my eyes]

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh, man, i can't believe people are that STUPID and can hold a job to the point where they would be your coworker.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Too funny.....Hey I wonder if there is anyplace I can buy; "Milk of Magnesia" Cheese lol.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh dear lord! Some people are just clueless! Thanks for the laugh! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Coconut milk is actually a product made by cooking coconut flesh in water (or sometimes milk). The juice from the inside of a coconut is usually called coconut water.

    Still can't make cheese from it though! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. @anonymous:
    Now you ruined the joke being serious....

    ReplyDelete
  7. is this the carrot bush person?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks for the giggle. I wonder how long it will take her to call off the search....

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ha! That is so funny...I wonder how long she'll keep looking. And also, how awful would that cheese taste? Ew!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You are a liar, now go out and milk that coconut cow for her and get her some stinkin' cheese.

    ReplyDelete
  11. i am *so* *so* sorry you work with these people

    ReplyDelete
  12. You do seem to run into an above average number of these loony people. It does make for funny blog reading, though :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Surely this MUST be the carrot bush person! There can't be two people THAT stupid working with you!

    Sheesh, Garrett, you need a new job! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  14. lol, co-workers can be something else that's for sure. Hopefully the "other coworker" sent him/her on a wild goose chase around the city for coconut milk cheese!

    Ari (Baking and Books)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Just bring him or her a bar of coconut-scented soap and tell them it's coconut milk cheese, and that you were wrong, it does exist after all. Watch wackiness ensue.

    ReplyDelete
  16. seriously...Puh-leese tell us its the carrot bush person.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Sorry, but this was not the carrot bush person. Apparently, they are multiplying...

    ReplyDelete
  18. This reminds me of the time my co-worker insisted that sharks were mammals...they walk among us...

    ReplyDelete
  19. how do you find these people?! lol

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think you need to fire your company's recruiter. They're obviously bringing in crazies on purpose.

    ReplyDelete
  21. How to make coconut cheese...

    https://www.unido.org/userfiles/PuffK/ISED_R85.pdf

    You can get something similar using the same technique as making a paneer. It's a bit "sloppy" tho

    ReplyDelete
  22. Annonymous - Intriguing... but still. I don't think this is what they meant. I think they meant actual pasteurized cheese though.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Actually, if you're ever in Pacific Grove, CA, look up Central Ave Bakery. The owner makes a cream cheese out of coconut milk that is to die for!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Some would argue that 'pasteurized cheese' is not really cheese, because it is dead. Cheese was meant to be a living food, so an unpasteurized cream cheese type spread made with coconuts and living cultures is indeed a real cheese.

    So, sometimes it is the 'stupid' questions which make us look a little farther than our own 'cultural' blinders of what is possible....

    There is a recipe for making a Kefir cheese with coconuts here: http://w.wildernessfamilynaturals.com/kefir_culture.htm

    ReplyDelete
  25. One could argue that 'pasteurized cheese' is not 'really' cheese, because cheese was meant to be a living food, and that a cream-cheese like spread made of coconut and living cultures is a 'real cheese'. It is a 'nontraditional' cheese because it wasn't made with the milk of a ewe, cow or goat, but oddly, closer to the original intent and beauty of 'real' (i.e. alive) cheese than is pasteurized chedder, and indeed all the cheese that is sold legally in the US.

    It is sometimes the 'stupid' questions which reveal the depth of our cultural assumptions and ignorances... I try to avoid dairy, and I came upon your blogue while searching for a way to make cheese from coconuts, one of my favorite sources for 'milk'. There is a company which sells Kefir culture, usually made with cows or goat's milk, but which also shares a recipe for coconut kefir and kefir cheese. Here is the page: http://www.wildernessfamilynaturals.com/kefir_culture.htm

    So there you have it, you can have the last laugh, little coconut-cheese-question-asking guy. You're not such an idiot after all...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Yes, you can make cheese from coconut milk. We've had it and love it. Who's the moron now? You and your friends should pause before ridiculing someone for something you obviously know nothing about.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous Anonymous said...

    " Actually, if you're ever in Pacific Grove, CA, look up Central Ave Bakery. The owner makes a cream cheese out of coconut milk that is to die for!!!!
    7:50 PM"

    Unfortunately "Central Ave Bakery" had to close, issues with the city and water usage.

    By the way, I have had an amazing coconut "milk" cheese, it was deliscious and that is what I was searching for, when I found this blog. Something like Coconut milk, garlic, salt, and maybe some rosemary. Let it set out to solidify and hung in a cheesecloth for three days.
    I'm determined to make it.

    ReplyDelete
  28. That's hilarious!! I make handmade vegan coconut milk soap and constantly have people ask "how can it be vegan if it has milk in it??" I guess people don't understand what a coconut is. Thanks for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I agree that perhaps we should step back and not make fun of people... It is pretty sad. And, I hope that the person ridiculed on your site does find it and read it.
    And for the record, I make coconut cheese all the time, using a kefir starter.
    Even if if maybe was not exactly what he was talking about, you were wrong too. There is such a thing. Perhaps now I should make fun of you, for not knowing. But I won't, because I have class and compassion.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Wow, maybe you shouldn't be so quick to make fun of your coworker and do some research instead. S/he isn't so far off.

    http://angelaskitchen.wordpress.com/2008/04/27/april-daring-baker%E2%80%99s-challenge-cheesecake-pops/

    I make coconut milk yogurt, which is delicious, and coconut milk cream cheese is easily made from the yogurt.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Annonymous: You're wrong and no I am not quick to judge. Cheese is made from dairy.

    You can call what you made "yogurt" or "cheese" if you want, but put it in parentheses because real yogurt and cheese is made from dairy. Even the example you put up has the words cream cheese in parentheses because it's not actually cheese of any kind. That's the way it has been forever. So yes, I am quick to judge because coconut milk "cheese/yogurt" isn't actually cheese or yogurt, just a strained and possibly fermented version of coconut milk.

    ReplyDelete
  32. sorry but cheese is cheese, I dont care if you make it from, dairy coconuts, soy, whatever. you are just unable to admit you are wrong, and a very rude person for disrespecting your coworker insetead of having a conversation with them on alternative foods. You are the one that seems like the moron.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous: See my comment to previous Anonymous. Cheese is made from milk, sweetie. Also, if you plan to be snide and rude, sign your comments. Thankskbye.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I think we get the message 'Anonymous'. You sound much more critical than the people you are criticising for being criticising.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I have a granddaughter who is allergic to wheat, dairy and eggs. I am very interested in finding the recipe for cream cheese made with coconut milk.Anybody have one or know where I can find one?

    ReplyDelete
  36. Found a recipe for coconut cream cheese here:
    http://ohhmay.com/2010/02/11/i-cant-believe-its-not-cream-cheese/

    ReplyDelete
  37. Jean: Thanks for providing the helpful link. Though, I would still write it as "cheese" with the quotation marks in this case. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Yeah you really should think before you speak or do some research. I just had coconut gouda cheese with my chicken for dinner... i cant' believe YOURE that stupid to say something like that and then go on and ridicule it . whole foods has a coconut cheese by koko's I promise you it exists... and coconut milk is a different kind of milk actually... but it is a milk. just not from an animal and it actually is an EXCELLENT replacement in cereals and recipes that call for milk to help you lose weight ...

    ReplyDelete
  39. One: Grammar and spelling.
    Two: See previous responses. Again: cheese = dairy. "Cheese" = not dairy.

    How is this so hard?!

    I'm not saying these products aren't good. I think it's just silly to call it cheese when it isn't.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hey, a few weeks ago I gave my 9 yr. old godson a packet of "donut seeds" and boy was he excited! No more buying donuts at the store for him! Maybe you should give the co-worker some of "donut seeds" as well! http://familyfun.go.com/magazine/

    ReplyDelete
  41. From dictionary.com... please refer to meaning number 3 below.

    milk
       [milk] Show IPA

    –noun
    1.
    an opaque white or bluish-white liquid secreted by the mammary glands of female mammals, serving for the nourishment of their young.

    2.
    this liquid as secreted by cows, goats, or certain other animals and used by humans for food or as a source of butter, cheeses, yogurt, etc.

    3.
    any liquid resembling this, as the liquid within a coconut, the juice or sap of certain plants, or various pharmaceutical preparations.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Annonymous: *head desk*
    Sign your name and e-mail and own up to the stupidity.

    ReplyDelete
  43. KoKos® - Coconut Cheese
    Made with fresh, pasteurized cow’s milk and a delicious dash of healthy coconut cream. A delightfully unique and versatile cheese with a light, refreshing, mildly sweet and nutty taste.

    Ingredients: Pasteurized milk, organic coconut cream, salt, cheese culture, enzymes, rennet.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Vegan "Cheese" made from coconut yogurt, made from coconut flesh. Incredibly easy to make and tasty too! All the ingredients needed are; Dried unsweetened coconut, water, acidophilus and a little bit of honey or other natural sugar to feed the healthy bacteria. Utensils needed; a blender, a piece or fabric and a yogurt maker if desired.... Coconut milk is easy, just water and shredded coconut in the blender... Take said concoction and make into yogurt by following yogurt starter directions or adding acidophilus and putting into yogurt maker for 8-12 hours or leaving at room temp for 24 hours. Take prepared yogurt and drain whey out using fabric for 1-4 hours depending on desired consistency.... You have just created your own vegan "Cream Cheese"!!! It is delicious, nutritious and very very CHEAP!

    Have fun and try something new and different once in a while, it makes life exciting!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  45. So once and for all let me state this: I have no issue with vegan "cheese." But note how I put that word in little quotes. Cheese is dairy, by definition, since the dawn of cheese. "Cheese" is not dairy.

    ReplyDelete
  46. How do you know your coworker wasn't saying "cheese" and not cheese?

    :) Just had to say it... just mastered making coconut milk yogurt and am looking at making coconut milk cheese - or maybe "cheese" ...

    Enjoy :)

    ReplyDelete
  47. Just so we're clear. Webster's Dictionary:

    Definition of CHEESE (noun)
    1 a: a food consisting of the coagulated, compressed, and usually ripened curd of milk separated from the whey
    b : an often cylindrical cake of this food
    2: something resembling cheese in shape or consistency
    3: something cheap or shabby : cheesy material

    Cheese by definition is milk. That is the argument I am making. If you have a problem with this worldwide accepted and historical definition then read a dictionary.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Cheese or "cheese" whatever... they sell it as Coconut Cheese, by Koko and it is flippin' delicious. If the owner of this blog can't even recognize that they made an error, and don't want to expand their culinary horizons... it shows you how closed minded they really are

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kokos is cow's milk swirled with coconut cream. Note that the main ingredient in that is cow's milk. That's like saying Leyden a cumin flavored cheese is cumin cheese. No, it's cheese flavored with cumin.

      Delete

Hey, you're leaving a comment! That's pretty darn cool, so thanks. If you have any questions or have found an error on the site or with a recipe, please e-mail me and I will reply as soon as possible.
~Garrett

Vanilla Garlic All rights reserved © Blog Milk Powered by Blogger