A small exchange that took place a few minutes ago...
Co-Worker: Where can I buy coconut milk cheese?
Me: I'm sorry? No, um, you can't buy it.
Co-Worker: Why not?
Me: Because you can't make cheese from coconut milk.
Co-Worker: But it's milk.
Me: No, it's just called coconut milk because it looks like milk. It isn't actually milk. It's juice from inside the coconut.
Co-Worker: But you make cheese from milk.
Me: Yes, milk from a cow or goat or something.
Co-Worker: So you can't make cheese from coconut milk?
Me: Nope. Sorry.
Co-Worker: I'll go ask *other co-worker* and see if she knows where I can buy it.
Because apparently, I'm an idiot and a liar. I wish him the best of luck in his search.
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW
Vanilla Garlic looks at how life and food intertwine through creative, entertaining, and educational essays. From cheese to desserts, to spirits and espresso, I hope my words leave you laughing and reflecting. Updated every Tuesday.
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49 comments:
maybe she can tell him where to get some bunny eggs too.... [i've tears in my eyes]
oh, man, i can't believe people are that STUPID and can hold a job to the point where they would be your coworker.
Too funny.....Hey I wonder if there is anyplace I can buy; "Milk of Magnesia" Cheese lol.
Oh dear lord! Some people are just clueless! Thanks for the laugh! :)
Coconut milk is actually a product made by cooking coconut flesh in water (or sometimes milk). The juice from the inside of a coconut is usually called coconut water.
Still can't make cheese from it though! :)
@anonymous:
Now you ruined the joke being serious....
is this the carrot bush person?
milk of magnesia cheese! LOL!
Thanks for the giggle. I wonder how long it will take her to call off the search....
Ha! That is so funny...I wonder how long she'll keep looking. And also, how awful would that cheese taste? Ew!
You are a liar, now go out and milk that coconut cow for her and get her some stinkin' cheese.
Hillarious!
i love this story.
i am *so* *so* sorry you work with these people
You do seem to run into an above average number of these loony people. It does make for funny blog reading, though :)
Surely this MUST be the carrot bush person! There can't be two people THAT stupid working with you!
Sheesh, Garrett, you need a new job! ;)
lol, co-workers can be something else that's for sure. Hopefully the "other coworker" sent him/her on a wild goose chase around the city for coconut milk cheese!
Ari (Baking and Books)
Just bring him or her a bar of coconut-scented soap and tell them it's coconut milk cheese, and that you were wrong, it does exist after all. Watch wackiness ensue.
seriously...Puh-leese tell us its the carrot bush person.
Sorry, but this was not the carrot bush person. Apparently, they are multiplying...
This reminds me of the time my co-worker insisted that sharks were mammals...they walk among us...
how do you find these people?! lol
I think you need to fire your company's recruiter. They're obviously bringing in crazies on purpose.
How to make coconut cheese...
https://www.unido.org/userfiles/PuffK/ISED_R85.pdf
You can get something similar using the same technique as making a paneer. It's a bit "sloppy" tho
Annonymous - Intriguing... but still. I don't think this is what they meant. I think they meant actual pasteurized cheese though.
Actually, if you're ever in Pacific Grove, CA, look up Central Ave Bakery. The owner makes a cream cheese out of coconut milk that is to die for!!!!
Some would argue that 'pasteurized cheese' is not really cheese, because it is dead. Cheese was meant to be a living food, so an unpasteurized cream cheese type spread made with coconuts and living cultures is indeed a real cheese.
So, sometimes it is the 'stupid' questions which make us look a little farther than our own 'cultural' blinders of what is possible....
There is a recipe for making a Kefir cheese with coconuts here: http://w.wildernessfamilynaturals.com/kefir_culture.htm
One could argue that 'pasteurized cheese' is not 'really' cheese, because cheese was meant to be a living food, and that a cream-cheese like spread made of coconut and living cultures is a 'real cheese'. It is a 'nontraditional' cheese because it wasn't made with the milk of a ewe, cow or goat, but oddly, closer to the original intent and beauty of 'real' (i.e. alive) cheese than is pasteurized chedder, and indeed all the cheese that is sold legally in the US.
It is sometimes the 'stupid' questions which reveal the depth of our cultural assumptions and ignorances... I try to avoid dairy, and I came upon your blogue while searching for a way to make cheese from coconuts, one of my favorite sources for 'milk'. There is a company which sells Kefir culture, usually made with cows or goat's milk, but which also shares a recipe for coconut kefir and kefir cheese. Here is the page: http://www.wildernessfamilynaturals.com/kefir_culture.htm
So there you have it, you can have the last laugh, little coconut-cheese-question-asking guy. You're not such an idiot after all...
Yes, you can make cheese from coconut milk. We've had it and love it. Who's the moron now? You and your friends should pause before ridiculing someone for something you obviously know nothing about.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
" Actually, if you're ever in Pacific Grove, CA, look up Central Ave Bakery. The owner makes a cream cheese out of coconut milk that is to die for!!!!
7:50 PM"
Unfortunately "Central Ave Bakery" had to close, issues with the city and water usage.
By the way, I have had an amazing coconut "milk" cheese, it was deliscious and that is what I was searching for, when I found this blog. Something like Coconut milk, garlic, salt, and maybe some rosemary. Let it set out to solidify and hung in a cheesecloth for three days.
I'm determined to make it.
That's hilarious!! I make handmade vegan coconut milk soap and constantly have people ask "how can it be vegan if it has milk in it??" I guess people don't understand what a coconut is. Thanks for the laugh!
I agree that perhaps we should step back and not make fun of people... It is pretty sad. And, I hope that the person ridiculed on your site does find it and read it.
And for the record, I make coconut cheese all the time, using a kefir starter.
Even if if maybe was not exactly what he was talking about, you were wrong too. There is such a thing. Perhaps now I should make fun of you, for not knowing. But I won't, because I have class and compassion.
Wow, maybe you shouldn't be so quick to make fun of your coworker and do some research instead. S/he isn't so far off.
http://angelaskitchen.wordpress.com/2008/04/27/april-daring-baker%E2%80%99s-challenge-cheesecake-pops/
I make coconut milk yogurt, which is delicious, and coconut milk cream cheese is easily made from the yogurt.
Annonymous: You're wrong and no I am not quick to judge. Cheese is made from dairy.
You can call what you made "yogurt" or "cheese" if you want, but put it in parentheses because real yogurt and cheese is made from dairy. Even the example you put up has the words cream cheese in parentheses because it's not actually cheese of any kind. That's the way it has been forever. So yes, I am quick to judge because coconut milk "cheese/yogurt" isn't actually cheese or yogurt, just a strained and possibly fermented version of coconut milk.
sorry but cheese is cheese, I dont care if you make it from, dairy coconuts, soy, whatever. you are just unable to admit you are wrong, and a very rude person for disrespecting your coworker insetead of having a conversation with them on alternative foods. You are the one that seems like the moron.
Anonymous: See my comment to previous Anonymous. Cheese is made from milk, sweetie. Also, if you plan to be snide and rude, sign your comments. Thankskbye.
I think we get the message 'Anonymous'. You sound much more critical than the people you are criticising for being criticising.
I have a granddaughter who is allergic to wheat, dairy and eggs. I am very interested in finding the recipe for cream cheese made with coconut milk.Anybody have one or know where I can find one?
Found a recipe for coconut cream cheese here:
http://ohhmay.com/2010/02/11/i-cant-believe-its-not-cream-cheese/
Jean: Thanks for providing the helpful link. Though, I would still write it as "cheese" with the quotation marks in this case. ;)
Yeah you really should think before you speak or do some research. I just had coconut gouda cheese with my chicken for dinner... i cant' believe YOURE that stupid to say something like that and then go on and ridicule it . whole foods has a coconut cheese by koko's I promise you it exists... and coconut milk is a different kind of milk actually... but it is a milk. just not from an animal and it actually is an EXCELLENT replacement in cereals and recipes that call for milk to help you lose weight ...
One: Grammar and spelling.
Two: See previous responses. Again: cheese = dairy. "Cheese" = not dairy.
How is this so hard?!
I'm not saying these products aren't good. I think it's just silly to call it cheese when it isn't.
Hey, a few weeks ago I gave my 9 yr. old godson a packet of "donut seeds" and boy was he excited! No more buying donuts at the store for him! Maybe you should give the co-worker some of "donut seeds" as well! http://familyfun.go.com/magazine/
From dictionary.com... please refer to meaning number 3 below.
milk
[milk] Show IPA
–noun
1.
an opaque white or bluish-white liquid secreted by the mammary glands of female mammals, serving for the nourishment of their young.
2.
this liquid as secreted by cows, goats, or certain other animals and used by humans for food or as a source of butter, cheeses, yogurt, etc.
3.
any liquid resembling this, as the liquid within a coconut, the juice or sap of certain plants, or various pharmaceutical preparations.
Annonymous: *head desk*
Sign your name and e-mail and own up to the stupidity.
KoKos® - Coconut Cheese
Made with fresh, pasteurized cow’s milk and a delicious dash of healthy coconut cream. A delightfully unique and versatile cheese with a light, refreshing, mildly sweet and nutty taste.
Ingredients: Pasteurized milk, organic coconut cream, salt, cheese culture, enzymes, rennet.
Vegan "Cheese" made from coconut yogurt, made from coconut flesh. Incredibly easy to make and tasty too! All the ingredients needed are; Dried unsweetened coconut, water, acidophilus and a little bit of honey or other natural sugar to feed the healthy bacteria. Utensils needed; a blender, a piece or fabric and a yogurt maker if desired.... Coconut milk is easy, just water and shredded coconut in the blender... Take said concoction and make into yogurt by following yogurt starter directions or adding acidophilus and putting into yogurt maker for 8-12 hours or leaving at room temp for 24 hours. Take prepared yogurt and drain whey out using fabric for 1-4 hours depending on desired consistency.... You have just created your own vegan "Cream Cheese"!!! It is delicious, nutritious and very very CHEAP!
Have fun and try something new and different once in a while, it makes life exciting!!! :)
So once and for all let me state this: I have no issue with vegan "cheese." But note how I put that word in little quotes. Cheese is dairy, by definition, since the dawn of cheese. "Cheese" is not dairy.
How do you know your coworker wasn't saying "cheese" and not cheese?
:) Just had to say it... just mastered making coconut milk yogurt and am looking at making coconut milk cheese - or maybe "cheese" ...
Enjoy :)
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