Co-Worker: Where can I buy coconut milk cheese?
Me: I'm sorry? No, um, you can't buy it.
Co-Worker: Why not?
Me: Because you can't make cheese from coconut milk.
Co-Worker: But it's milk.
Me: No, it's just called coconut milk because it looks like milk. It isn't actually milk. It's juice from inside the coconut.
Co-Worker: But you make cheese from milk.
Me: Yes, milk from a cow or goat or something.
Co-Worker: So you can't make cheese from coconut milk?
Me: Nope. Sorry.
Co-Worker: I'll go ask *other co-worker* and see if she knows where I can buy it.
Because apparently, I'm an idiot and a liar. I wish him the best of luck in his search.
By the way, comments are closed and will not be posted anymore on this post. I am over stupid people arguing with me over the definition of a word and a culinary fact that's 8000 years old. If you want to call me an idiot - email me at gmmccord (at) gmail (dot) com.
On another note, there is now a cheese called Kokos. It's a Dutch gouda made with cow's milk that has coconut cream swirled into the milk. The cheese requires the milk to age the way cheese normally does. The coconut milk is simply a flavoring, like adding fennel seeds, or wrapping the outside with grape leaves.