Tuesday Eating Calendar

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Tuesdays are my suck days. The days I leave at 7 a.m. and get home at 10 p.m. It's a supersonic spiral into gustatory hell basically. Monday nights I get home around 10 pm as well so I can't prepare something the night before for lunch or dinner. It's a day where I just scrounge up whatever food I can possibly find and it's not exactly a balanced diet.

The following is a typical Tuesday:

6:30 am - Bowl of cereal. Maybe. Did I sleep in? What day is this? Goddamn it Rob, if you don't shut up and close the blinds I swear to holy hell I will make sure the sun don't shine anywhere for you ever again.

7:30 am - Apologize to Rob for threatening his life again.

7:45 am - Walk into work and make tea. Healthy wake up food for Garrett. Can now be social and talk to people, and am no longer at risk of going totally bat shit and verbally eviscerating the first person I see.

9:00 am - Desk candy. This candy jar on my Lead's desk is always tempting everyone. It's full. It's delicious. It's got to go.

10:00 am - Get Cheeze-its from the snack machine. Cheesy crackers are my crack, I heart their salty deliciousness. They love me and I need them.

10: 03 am -Warned co-worker that if she sneaks another one of my Cheez-its that I'll stab her in the freaking hand.

10:05 am - Stabbed co-worker in the hand.

12:30 pm - Someone placed bagels and cream cheese in the break room again. I race everyone else there after we learn of these tasty treats and throw myself upon the greasy cheese bagel, and drown it in whipped cream cheese. To balance out a healthy meal, I pour a glass of orange juice to go with it. Go me!

1:00 pm - Two hard boiled eggs with some salt. I did have time to prepare something last night and I'm glad I did. I choose to view it as diet conscious rather than sparse.

3:00 pm - Like Kate Moss, I need to eat a freaking sammich. I find a Soup-at-Hand thing from Campbell's. It tastes horrid. Not from age, but from just nastiness. I throw it away.

4:00 pm - Desk candy one more time. Curse you Satan and your tasty tootsie roll temptations!

5:00 pm - Sit with friends before class. I mooch a small bit of pizza and a slice of cucumber from a salad. Follow up with a short cat nap in a Quiet Room with bean bags. Dunno who thought to put those bean bags and Quiet Rooms there, but give the man a fucking medal.

10:30 pm - Get home. Stress has built again to epic proportions. Thinking of cleaning the dishes in the sink but collapse on couch instead to watch bad reality television. America's Most Smartest Model is on. Yayness, I can look at pretty people wearing few bits of clothes and being totally stupid and validate my own intelligence after listening to classmates who are probably way smarter than me. Rob makes me some fries and a black cherry smoothie. All is good with the world.

11:00 pm - Get into bed. I remember there's a potluck tomorrow at work. Will pick up some bread or something somewhere. People expect cupcakes from me, but too bad. Who wants to bet that there'll be a healthy selection of weight conscious choices designed to fight fat and salt and boost energy? Yeah, don't think so. Bring on the KFC and brownies. I'll make sure to jog home.


  1. I've only read one page & this is funny as hell! Thanks!

  2. Funny! Agreed on the cheez-its. I would stab someone's hand for them too. :-)

  3. Garrett - Although I know that I could prepare healthy snacks in advance, sometimes I don't. Although I could whip up a healthy meal after a long day, sometimes I don't. It's okay if junk food is the only thing on the horizon for a short period of time. But if you're stressed, it really isn't the best. I'm not one to lecture, but, honey...NO MORE TOOTSIE ROLLS! They are the devil. There is not one redeeming ingredient containted therein. At least there is chicken in KFC - albeit mushy, battery chicken that is also not good for you, but it has to be better than cream loaded with preservatives. Hopefully the boyfriend is helping you destress...

  4. Oh, I hate days like that. Always worth the effort to make something ahead of time, but it's easier said than done. Funny how bad TV goes a long way in restoring well-being and self-satisfaction:)

  5. Garrett- Pay no attention to the advice on tootsie rolls! Definitely much healthier that KFC. Besides, whats wrong with sugar and chocolate for stress relief?

    Love your blog...always something to make me smile, and cupcake recipes too!

  6. I love it! Night classes are BRUTAL. And don't let the fatigue/ malnutrition cloud your judgment: just because class mates may have more energy for public intellectual masturbation at the end of a grueling day does not mean they're smarter. Anyone who writes like you do is brilliant in my book. And anyone who works as hard as you deserves a damn medal...

  7. I work in a kitchen (pastry chef)so you would think of all people I would eat well...yea right. We do get an employee meal but its usually cold by the time I get to it. So I usually just eat some cake lol oh well.

    *note to self* don't touch Garretts cheez-its.


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