Insomnia Cure

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

So recently I had a bad stint of insomnia. I've never really had it before, except once or twice so I wasn't sure what to do. The tossing and turning was driving me crazy and the last day at work had been my one-man show of night of the living dead but with 30% more eating people than on regular workday.

I wasn't able to try any sleep aides because I react badly to them. By badly I mean I hallucinate vividly. Last time I tried a sleeping drug I hallucinated that Eat Beast was trying to kill me. At the time, Rob had found me in the corner shrieking like a banshee trying to back away from the cat who was, understanably, confused by my hysteria. Later on in the night I thought my arm was encased in ice. A side effect of Ambien is that you experience all types of sensory hallucinations, my arm went numb and I couldn't get the ice off. As such I went to the kitchen and ran it under scalding hot water which essentially led to a visit to the E.R. so my arm could be bandaged and covered in burn salve.Needless to say there was a very angry call to the doctor the following day.

With such a painful history with medication I decided to try a more holisitc approach to attack the insomnia problem. Sadly however, nothing worked. Turkey soup, warm milk, nada. I tried reading, running, watching television and even video games (though this one actually kept me up if anything). I even tried to find someone to repeatedly strike me in the back of the head with wine bottle but none of my friends apparently love me enough to risk jail time even if I wrote a note beforehand that would exonerate them from any wrongdoing.

Anyways, after 80+ hours of no sleep I found what works: Billy Blanks and Robert Mondavi. Together they are the cure.

After going to youtube and doing the Tae-Bo Cardio 60 minute work out followed by two glasses of white wine, let me tell you, you'll be out like a light. Throw on your nasty sweats and get gross in your living room then collapse and drink like a fish.

Sure, it probably wasn't a lot of things like smart or healthy, but it worked damnit. Follow it up the next day with three eggs, a stroke's worth of bacon, a bunch of kiwis and oversteeped black tea straight (no cream or sugar, steep for 10 minutes, thanks) and you're ready to recover and take on the world.

Anyone else have a good home remedy involving some sort of food or drink?

31 comments:

  1. That's just about the best cure I've ever heard. I tend to go with wine and a hot bath, but yours sounds much more entertaining...to watch at least, if not to do.

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  2. Just too too funny! But I feel your insomnia pain...

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  3. Though probably not doctor approved, I have found that absinthe will knock me right the hell out. Not too much--just a couple of ounces, properly diluted--but it'll just about do it. I'm sure it'd be the same with any high proof alcohol though.

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  4. I don't have a remedy that will, for sure, work. I have tips... Doctors say you shouldn't work out too late in the afternoon if you want to have a good night sleep.

    And have you tried lettuce tea? I know, it sounds awful, but lettuce has calming properties and so it's said that lettuce tea might work. Chamomile tea might work, as well.

    Good night! ;)

    *
    mariana

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  5. I can relate to that. But I prefer biking in my basement followed by a couple pale ales.

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  6. I'm new here (no blog of my own) and speechless! 80+ hours?! Holy moly, that's three days and change without sleep. I'm astonished you could exercise. But we're talking about food remedies. Like vinegar on sunburn? (My young daughter complained that she smelled like salad.) Or more like the sore throat gargle I made from warm water and a bit of white wine vinaigrette? Well, it was the only acidic thing I knew how to find in the household I was visiting.

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  7. Gotta say--alcohol tends to bring on my insomnia. I pass out really well but am wide awake 4 hours later. I recently read that bananas are a food that helps induce sleep. No caffeine or exercise after 4pm. You might do a search and see what comes up.

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  8. A big bowl of cereal with milk, accompanied by the most boring of games, regular old Klondike solitaire, almost always does it for me. Also, if I get good and cold, then climb into bed under the electric blanket, I'll fall asleep pretty quickly. I hope you don't need any of these suggestions any time soon, though.

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  9. Here's what I would suggest. Throw a party. Invite all the people you really like and the ones your don't like as much. Make it the cliche wine, cheese and chocolate, or martini, or whatever party. Now I'm not a doctor or anything, but if you're not exhausted from drinking all night or from all the schmoozing with people you don't really like, then you are clinically considered a zombie. If this is the case, well at least you had a party, and those are always fun. Good luck.

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  10. Hmmm, does yoga and ice water count as food or drink? When I'm too stressed to sleep I find a hot bath with lavender relaxing, and maybe chamomile tea. Maybe, if I don't overload it with honey.

    I know temperature change is meant to help induce sleep, so going from a hot shower to a cold room should make you groggy (or give you frostbite).

    If all else fails I have some old text books from college I can break out. A few pages of calculus and my eyes cross.

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  11. Yoga, bath, and beer. It saves me every time. And really I wish I could end every night like that!

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  12. Its strange to see all the comments saying no exercise after 4 pm, when like you, exercising at night is what puts me to sleep!

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  13. There's going to be a lot of anecdotes about what works for whom.

    I've read that staring at the computer screen right before bed can really impair your ability to sleep.

    But its nothing that can't be counteracted by booze.

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  14. OK. You have to have at least 8 hours to devote to this or you have to break the pill in half in order to get enough sleep in this case. I swear it works because I use it all the time. I get insomnia due to the migraine medication I'm on. My brother uses it too because he works third shift and has to sleep through loud roomies. Trust me! It works wonders.

    OK! Melatonin is a naturally occurring toxin in your brain that helps you relax and sleep at night. if you get a bottle of this stuff (in the vitamin aisle at the grocery store) and take a 3 mg pill and cut it in half or take 3/4 of the pill or something, you'll be able to sleep within about an hour if you relax in bed and try to fall asleep for 8 hours. If you take a whole pill, you'll be asleep for like 12-14 hours so if you have to work the next day, it might be hard to get up.

    I hope that helps! Good luck!

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  15. try brewing a small teacup of chamomile tea...or sleepy time tea which is a blend or something such, 30 min or so before your bedtime. The other thing that works well for me is a herbal sleep blend, there are usually several available in any health food store, whole foods, new seasons, zupans..depending on the neighborhood.. best of luck, a good nights sleep is the best... altho' the workout & wine was a solution, probably not one you will want to do every night... :}

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  16. I just pretty much deal with the insomnia. I lay there in the dark because that's what the "experts" say. They also say don't keep watching the clock because that will keep you awake. So I just lie there and think about things: things I'm going to do, stories I create in my head, stuff like that. Positive things.

    But I've been an insomniac most of my life so I think I might just be used to it.

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  17. Those Ambien stories are true. We were in Michigan. Boyfriend took one, we got up early for the airport. He insisted on driving. Right away he was driving erratically and I was in hysterics (sp?). We went about 1/4 mile until he ended up bumping someone at a stoplight. Luckily we got off with a lot of apologies due to no damage. I yanked him out and threw him in the passenger seat. He still has no memory of the event.

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  18. Hehe. I had valerian once. During exam week. With my boyfriend (we lived together and studied the same subject but in different semesters).
    I_could_not_stop_talking. He went to sleep fairly quickly and I kept waking him up by going "I need to tell you something blah blah blah blah" I never took Valerian again.

    What helps me: re-read a book I know and like. Currently I'm re reading all my Terry Pratchett books. I know them so well that they're not exciting anymore, but rather like old friends, so I read about 3 pages before my eyes close.

    Sorry, no food suggestions. When I eat when I can't sleep I usually just end up raiding my fridge instead of sleeping, which doesn't really help.

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  19. OMG I haven't heard about those Ambien side effects. Sorry you had to find out about them firsthand!

    A friend of mine highly recommends chammomile tea, but two bags per cup.

    I typically pair that with some valerian root (capsule form.) That typically does the trick.

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  20. Insomniac for 20+ years. Calms Forte by Hylands works for me. Homeopathic rememdy. No side effects/interactions. Available at most Walgreens or health stores...

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  21. I also was on Ambien for insomina...and found myself driving with no idea where I was going or how to get to my children's school. Very scary. Liquid Benadryl works well--just use a shot glass! Have switched over to melatonin. It's a natural sleep aid and works pretty well. I've used it for 2 years with no hallucinations.

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  22. Chamomille tea and a melatonin tablet

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  23. Really interesting comments...I'm prone to insomnia myself, and lately because of some jet lag, am having an even harder time than usual! Thanks for all of the great tips!

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  24. I also like Hyland's Calms Forte. A glass of raw milk is nice, too.

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  25. What helps me is a cup of Sleepy Time Tea fro Celestial Seasonings or its French equivalent Nuit Calme. And sometimes a glass of red wine. And a handfull of raisins. And then I think of nice things, places, projects, or I watch a boring movie I've seen about tenthousandtimes. Soooo boring, I'm yawning already at eleven am thinking of them.

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  26. I too suffer from insomia. I have heard that lettuce is meant to contain something to make you drowsy but never worked for me. I find a bowl of porridge an hour before bed can help or changing into PJ's early and turning the lights down low to make me think I have stayed up longer than I have.

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  27. Um, are you still alive? I suppose, if you're posting this, then you are. . . . Anyway, I've found that a great knock-out for when I'm too stressed to sleep is precisely this: reading lots and lots of soporific material (for example, books on grammar or other linguistically-based stuff work wonderfully (the secret is to force yourself to pay attention)), drinking herb tea, and bathing all at the same time. Out like a like, in absolutely no time.

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  28. I only have Billy's Bootcamp videos, but maybe I should try them before bed instead of in the morning or right after work. I'm currently dealing with shoulder pain so bad that it keeps me awake anyway, so I'm not sure that squat-thrusts are in my best interest right now.

    And I call the whole Ambien effect the Ambien Wobble. I don't hallucinate much on it but I am very wobbly. Melatonin, however..... now THAT makes you dream funky.

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  29. If I drink caffeine after 9am, (and that's just very weak black tea - forget coffee), I can't sleep. Consider that you might be caffeine sensitive. Also, alcohol is known to distub deep sleep, so avoid it after 6 pm if you've got sleeping issues.

    Try melatonin and magnesium supplements. They're known to help and shouldn't give you any side effects. Sweet Dreams....

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  30. I tend to get the Ambien spider hallucination... where I hallucinate that giant spiders are lowering themselves from my ceiling.

    To the point where I once ran about the room "smashing" them with a Louisville Slugger. When I woke up, I thought someone had broken in. I'm just really happy my daughters weren't home.

    I can totally empathize. I'm going to attempt your method of working out plus... cocoa (I can't drink alcohol.)

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  31. vit b complex after bfast is also good.

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