Eat Beast Update #1

Sunday, October 8, 2006

Not much to report. The title is misleading, I know. BUT, I finally bought a zester from Le Creuset (not an actual pot I know). *sigh* I can finally stop using my cheese grater to obtain zest, a total plus.

I also bought Eat Beast an electric auto feeder. Why, you ask? Well he has decided that his morning feeding time should be 4:30 am. Should I refuse he will meow, scratch the door, the walls, and knock shit over. I had to get my cell out from under the fridge this morning. There is no stopping him. Thus the electric feeder will feed him in the morning and save me stress and the daily decision of strangling him to death or showing mercy. Mercy is the usual choice since at this godforsaken time of day I am lazy and tired. Last night he got so hungry and imaptient he also a WHOLE bag of craanberries. I mean, I can't even do that.

  • 1 chopped onion
  • 2 jalepenos
  • 1 bag of cranberries
  • 1 bag of wheat bread
  • 1 bagel
  • unknown number of tortilla chips
  • some chopped carrot
He shows no signs of wekaness in any way. He cannot be stopped. Any attempt to do so and men will die (or just get really annoyed by his meowing).

Mace: "This bowl is empty! Where's my fucking dinner?!"


  1. Smart move going with the electric feeder.

    I got my (now my parents') cat one of the low-tech self-feeders where the cat could just give it a smack and more food would come out.

    He totally refused to do it and instead would just meow at you until you would come kick it for him.

    He knew how to do it, but he insisted on being served.

  2. Onion, jalapenos, cranberries, bread and carrot? It sounds like your cat's turned vegetarian.

  3. ROFL!! Your cat is still alive after eating 2 jalapenos? What was his reaction after eating them?? Poor guy!

    I didn't know they made electric feeders, that is pretty cool. I know my dad would have loved that when he used to have a house full of cats who would mew and whine at 2 and 5 in the morning for food!

  4. Interesting and a Very Smart Cat...
    onion, jalapenos n cranberries.. He's got quite non-Cat taste

    BTW.. Loved your blog.. esp the Blog-dinner Menu..

  5. KT - Yeah, he didn't wake us at 4:30 for once. Thank god.

    Ros - I dunno. He likes to chew on his tail.

    Jennifer - I think he made a pact with Satan. He shows no weakness at all and has no issues eating people food even though we don't let him (he steals it all).

    A. Dreamer: Thanks so much! I'm glad you like the blog!

  6. Ohmigod, that post made me laugh outloud! We had a dalmatian once that took out an entire Costco-sized box of Fritos, Doritos and Cheetos, but never a cat that ate jalapenos. That's something else entirely!

    Good luck to you both in trying to feed the beast!

  7. Does EB know that the best way to kill the burn after eating whole jalapenos is to quaff a cold one?

    Hide the beer, boys!

  8. An automatic feeder might be a very good idea... while most of that list is likely to cause vomiting up of indigestible bits or some impressive diarrhea, the onion (as well as garlic, chives, etc) cause a bad, bad, bad oxidative anemia by destroying red blood cells in cats. Happens in us too, but at might higher doses. Next time it happens, get a vet to make a blood smear, just in case.


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