Moving Update - Or - I'm Boned

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Writing this at Borders Cafe. No internet until the 8th. And that's at best. I will try to update if I can, but the move had some issues so it may be longer than that. I'll try to find some way to put something new up in a few days.

Moving went horribly. I planned perfectly for everything that was expected. Everything was packed, loaded, and moved well. It was all the unexpected that went horribly, horribly, horribly wrong. Like, shit motherfucker fuck shit stab me in the eye wrong. Like, will cost me much money to fix. I for sure am not getting my deposit back. In fact, I'll owe my old apartment money 10-1. May explain it more in a later post.

Also, I like to call my new neighborhood Lil' Oakland, or the Gateway to Hell; but on the brighter side I guess I'm your man if you need to find a place where you can locate a good hookup for coke. May kill roommate for forcing me to have to sign a lease as he kept canceling on other appointments at other places and left it so we pretty much had to sign something at the last minute or go homeless. If you see in the news, "Food Blogger Murders Roommate," it's me.

Generally, I do not adapt well to change. But for certain reasons, this one has also been extremely hard for me. So I'm generally not handling it well.

Any and all prayers, magic, good wishes, and offers for mafia hits welcome.

P.S. On a plus side, the apartment kitchen has cabinetry up the wazoo. Seriously. I can store a second kitchen in the cabinets here. Yay for that. Plus new fridge. Yay. Electric stove. Boo.


  1. Oh, Garrett. I'm so sorry for your moving woes... sounds like this has been decidedly UN-fun.

    Sending pixie dust your way in the hopes that everything starts to get better from this day forward! xox

  2. ((HUGS)), magic dust, voo-doo spells and Cuban anti-hex do-dads going your way! I hope the move gets better! Yeah for more cabinet space, maybe I can store some of my things there. . .too bad I'm all the way in Miami.

  3. I'm sending happy vibes your way! I hope things look up soon.

  4. hang in there, moving is always a challenge. You still have Eat Beast and Rob (unless he's been offed by now)..can't help you with any hit men... well, I could but won't. It will all work out and you'll be back to creating wonderful cupcakes.

  5. Oh Garret, I'm so sorry! Moving sucks as it is but unexpected "mis-haps" can really make you want to rip out your hair. I have moved so much in the past few years I feel like I'll never actually get to unpack all the boxes before I move again. Good Luck!! I won't judge you if you absolutely have to punch someone in the face. It works. Really. :)

  6. I'm sorry moving didn't go so well! But I'm glad the kitchen is faboo. :) Cheer up about the stove - at least you can eliminate "murder by inferno" from your list of possible ways to kill your roommate.

  7. I feel your pain.

    Wish I could help. It WILL get better. Has to.

    Repeat after me: "Homicide is not an option!"

    Andrea W.

  8. Oh man, it sounds like you're having a craptastic time of it right now! I'm sending positive thoughts your way. I hope things settle down for you soon.

  9. Hang in there! It's gotta get better. Right? Right?

  10. You have my complete sympathy. And I know some snipers if it comes to that. I recommend introducing the coke dealers to some good herbs (I like rosemary) and the benefits of a healthy diet that does not involve red bull and meth. You'd be doing the world a favor.

    I've been informed we have a spare voo-doo kit lying around that's bound for a garage sale. I can send it to you or, if you're desperate for money, you can send me the next body you find lying around so I can sell it with the voo-doo kit for you : )

    jk :) promise


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