At least, this is how plants see me.
Let me run down the toll for you:
1998: Four strawberry plants. Murdered by bugs due to my lack of attention. And my lack of giving them fertilizer, love, sunshine, and general upkeep. How these things ever lived on their own in the wild before man is beyond me.
2001: Pot of rosemary given to me as a gift. Drowned it by watering it every single day. I thought I was doing such good giving it all that attention. I will remember this when I have to take care of children in the future.
2002: Cactus. Death by thirst. Forgot to water it. For over a year. I thought these things lived through drought and whatnot? Obviously, this one was flawed.
2002: Lemon Tree. Accidentally tripped and crushed the poor thing the day after I planted it. Worst $30 ever spent.
2003: Ivy. Killed an entire yard of the stuff under my watch. I like to see it as another admirable practice of man conquering the incredible strength and apparent passivity of nature yet again. Go me!
2004: Orchid. Damn thing never had a chance. I accidentally knocked it off a second story window. It was immediately trampled by a dozen bikes. The funeral was quick and painless, though a bit smelly, but that's what I expect from a refuse bin behind the 7-11 that smells of hobo ass. Amazing how a thing of such beauty can be defiled so quickly.
2005: Mint plant, which I had kept alive for years. Okay, I planted it under a leaky hose, then neglected it. It flourished. I was happy. Then I stopped thinking one day and fixed the hose. Withered to dust.
2007: Rosemary - Part 2. You'd think it would be happy I remembered to water it every day, like it's now-dead realtive. Ungrateful bastard.
2007: Bamboo in a pot. Don't use over-calcified Sacramento tap water, apparently it can crawl up the bamboo plant and actually choke it to death. Who knew?
Now... a new pot. Rosemary: The Third. Let's hope I don't have to talk this one off the ledge.
Or drop it off one somehow.