Patio Dining and Pets

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Enjoying my three day weekend, I decided to enjoy the deliciously warm weather, and catch some early spring sunshine with some friends and dine outside. At a local little cafe, we sat down to some warm tea and scones. We talked about everything from classes to classism and generally were loving the day until a huge, upper class and no class man with a baby stroller took a seat.

Now, the stroller was not the problem. It's what was in the stroller.

Inside was a Gucci color wearing pug.

The dog was no dainty dining diva. Contrary to what some believe, money does not buy class, only pedigree. As we gave each other knowing looks, eyes screaming to each other about how ridiculous this man was, strollering his dog about, we tried to do our best to not cover our ears so as not to look odd or rude but also because talking with our eyes was necessary.

You see, we had to communicate with our eyes as the dog was yapping and howling and barking and peeing on the patio non-fucking-stop. It would not shut-up. It just kept yapping.

About 8 minutes of this, and that was that. The owner seemed to encourage it, cooing it and having a what seemed to be engrossing conversation as he gave forkfuls of his omelet to the dog (eating with the same fork mind you).

I had my fill, "Excuse me?"

"Yes?" he looked at me, a stranger who had so grossly pressed himself on his human/mongrel tête-à-tête. Though part of him seemed to expect a compliment about his significant other.

"Could you please quiet your dog? He's quite loud."

"Oh, Fountain," (Fountain? The hell...?), "just likes to sing and talk!"

"Well, we're trying to enjoy a meal and we haven't had a chance to get out and enjoy ourselves in a while and we can barely hear each other, so please make the dog stop so I don't have to ask the management about it. Thank you."

It was a bluff, I had no idea if the management gave a damn or could do anything about it. He seemed to buy it and made the dog shut up. Sure it was bitchy. Sure it was mean. I don't care. He gave me a bit of a look as he left a little while later, but screw him.

I had an old roommate who had an out of control dog. It bit my friend. Peed everywhere. Ate everything. Chased Cid unmercifully. When I got sick and paramedics came, the dog tried to attack the paramedics. It was a nightmare.

Part of having a pet, especially one you plan to take out in public, is responsibility for it's behavior. If it cannot behave around other people, then something isn't so much wrong with the dog, as something is wrong with the owner and how they are training it. And if they plan to bring their dog to a cafe, then that's fine if Sparky is well behaved.

I love dogs. I do. Just not bad ones who make me want to coldcock the owners. Like parents in a restaurant who totally just tune out their screaming out of control children.

I won a small victory for me. And hopefully struck a tone against the crazy my-dog-is-my-baby-my-life people.


  1. You have an uncanny ability to attract all the freaks in society. I am just happy that we get to read about it, and not have to put up with it like you seem to do. All the time.

  2. I agree. I own a petsitting business and my own little guy. It never ceases to amaze me how people will let a 10-lb canine rule their lives and refuse to teach them the meaning of dominance. But...I feel the same way about children, so maybe it's just me getting easily annoyed!

  3. Bravo for you!!! I'm older and never have the nerve to say anything about unruly dogs or children. I do tell parents of both, if the young'uns are good, how much I appreciate their behavior. Keep it up for all of us wimps out there!

  4. bravo for you
    When people refer to their dogs as 'children,' and then allow said 'children'' to make everyone else miserable- it gives you a glimpse into what they will really be like as parents!
    I wish I had seen that pug dressed up and in a stroller though.

  5. We have the same dog-is-my-princess-baby syndrome in Notting Hill. On the weekend I witnessed a woman taking her dog into a posh cake shop and asking the mutt what it wanted for supper. And waiting for its slobbering nod as a sign...

  6. Go Garrett, go!!!!
    Dogs are dogs, not people. Unfortunately some people don't get that. My dog was taught to behave at home AND in public. And it took time. A LOT of time and patience. So what? I chose to have a dog. Then teaching him is my responsibility. Well - dogs are for life and not for christmas.
    And they should NOT ride around in a stroller. OR look like people.
    I'm sorry that you attract so many Crazies.
    Love your blog!

  7. Good for you. I'm not a dog fan but my brother does have an adorable Min-Pin, which would never be allowed to intrude on human conversations or ride around in a stroller!

  8. Seriously. I just don't get the need to take dogs everywhere. Our dog is pretty happy at home eating out of a plastic bowl on the kitchen floor (the same fork? They ate from the same fork? Oh my God, I don't share a fork with my child, I can't imagine sharing one with a dog, oh my God....

    Blech. Hope the place had a good dishwasher. Oh just...ick.

  9. Good on you for saying what many would have been thinking and nobody else saying!

  10. just ran across your blog...quite enjoyable. Looking through these cupcakes are a lot of fun. I'm wondering, how did you get this cupcake pulldown menu?

  11. I think you're just jealous since you don't have a Gucci collar.

  12. I think it's unbelievable when I see people cart around their dogs in a stroller. It's unreal. I would never put my dog in a stroller. He's about 40 pounds but even if he was small enough I wouldn't.

  13. Garrett and I live 10 minutes from each other and I swear I never see the weirdos he sees. Either I'm completely oblivious (likely) or he truly is a lunatic magnet.

    The same fork?! That's just GROSS. Ewwwwwwwwww!

  14. I wouldn't mind strolling a puppy or kitty around, prefer them to babies! But I'm the most considerate person I know, would never impose like that on other people.

  15. I'm pretty sure according to most health dept. codes any animal that is not a service animal is not allowed in a restaurant.

    I once worked at a coffee shop and a woman who was trying to be a brunette version of Paris Hilton (complete with chihuahua, sidekick, and ratty extensions) was carrying her dog and actually put it on the counter. This was the same woman who would order starbucks drinks from us and we were not starbucks. Ugh.

  16. This story is so crazy I am suspending my suspension of disbelief and refusing to believe it. I would muay thai kick that dude and his little mutt across the patio if that happened to me.
    And yes, I love dogs too. No, honest. I have some dog friends!

  17. I love dogs as well. But thank you so much for standing up to that inconsiderate & selfish pet owner. Animals and children are meant to be cherished and when adults let them do whatever they want it is havoc. I am a firm believer that children & animals should be seen and not heard unless addressed. It is just plain respect. I mean really how embarrassing to know that if your dog or child in unruly in public and the people around you just look at you like an idiot. Of course, I think idiots really don't realize that they are idiots. Idiot people should not breed or raise breeds for that matter. But we do have to live with them in society and stories like yours do make the world a funnier place to be. I really do enjoy getting to know your blog.

  18. i beleive we should be able to slap people who bring thier ankle bitting smart asses everywhere they go.i mean why not bring pet rats on aleash or ferrets or even a pot belly pig every where we go. i will tell you why because we live in the real world fuck small dogs slap small dog owners!!!!!!!


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