Eat Beast Update #6 - He's a Big, Spicy Meatball

Thursday, August 30, 2007

It's been a while since we had an Eat Beast update, so I guess it's time to bring you back into the fatty fatty fat fat kitty cat loop. Well, Rob and I are still trying to teach him some manners, but most of it to no avail. In fact we've started using his gluttony for out own entertainment and are attempting to simply use that voracious momentum to our advantage.

We've learned in addition to limes, he won't eat radishes. Too stinky. He'll bat them around, but not eat them. He also has an odd habit of smacking them at Cid, who also hates radishes and runs from them. You have to imagine the scene: Cat runs by, followed closely behind by a radish skidding across the floor, followed by a fuzzy black blob.

He will however, lick chili powder off the counter. Let me explain, we read that by sprinkling chili powder and cayenne pepper around places we do not want the cats to go, they'll be so offended by the smell and by trying to lick it off their paws that they'll just avoid the area all together.

Not so with Eat Beast. Eat Beast simply proceeded to simply lick THE ENTIRE COUNTER CLEAN. Not a speck of cayenne or chili powder was left. I was grossed out and astounded all at the same time. I was also very sure to clean the entire area with comet to remove the fine coat of cat spit from my food prep area (YUM! he also licks his butt! gotta love that tongue all over your counter!).

I'm not kidding. He's also taken to some red chili's I had left hanging to dry out, so I had to move them outside where he wouldn't get to them. I mean hell, most PEOPLE can't eat like this.

He wasn't sick at all. He simply ate it all in stride. No pain.

As for using his appetite to my advantage I have used his food to teach him to stand and beg at a startling pace. I guess gluttony can inspire the most slothful creatures to do the amazing.

We also trick him into the tub for bath times by throwing a kernel of food in. He dives in after it, completley oblivious that we have now fooled him into his watery torture about 8 times now the same way, and then BAM!, he gets hit with the soaking heavy towel (to pin him down due to the fact that five of his six ends are sharp and pointy; plus it's much easier than running water) and shampoo.

I'm hoping to teach him more tricks, but he has no attention span, so I think stand up is about as good as it will get. He gets too anxious to actually sit down and be still when he sees the treat, the fat fuzzy bastard.


  1. Originally I came here for the cupcakes... but I'm staying for the Eat Beast! I read every blog entry that mentions Eat Beast and I LMFAO so much that I got lightheaded and I want to cry!

    But yeah... your cupcakes are certainly looking heavenly and are inspiring me to try something different!

  2. I used to have a black cat who was obsessed with cantaloupe. He would turn over the trash to eat the last bits of orange off the rind, and God help you if you would leave a cut cantaloupe on the counter for even a second!

  3. Can cats have prader willi syndrome?
    I think if they can, Eat Beast is affected.

  4. I live for the Eat Beast entries. Long live eat beast!!!

  5. I freakin' LOVE your posts about the Eat Beast... my kitty isn't half as exciting as him!

  6. Hehe, very funny cat. Please keep posting about him.

    A friend of mine had a cat who ate all her cacti. She would bat the cacti around until all the spines were gone and then she would eat what remained.

  7. OK speaking of cat butts "(YUM! he also licks his butt! gotta love that tongue all over your counter!)" you might get a laugh out of this: cat butt magnets and shopping bag
    I actually have them and they're hilarious. Love the post on Eat Beast!

  8. One of our cats eats everything from beans to tomatoes...loves fried eggs.

    We have to be careful about what flowers come into the he eats those too. Lilies are we keep them out of the mix.

    I likey your cat.

  9. Oh, Eat Beast, you are a man-cat of my heart! (Except for the butt licking part.) I'll never understand people who don't appreciate the endless entertainment of living with cats.

  10. I've read cats hate orange rinds, and citrus in general, but I'm not sure if that would work with your cayenne pepper eating cat!

  11. hahahahah! if you can't be 'em...join 'em. im sure using him as amusement sure beats the frustration of trying to prevent

  12. I think you should just change his name to "Fat Fuzzy Bastard." I like it.

  13. That was such a good read - thanks!

    Sounds like you are blessed with a real character there!

    My boss has taught his cat to tap the tin the pellets are kept in when she wants food.

    My boy on the other hand just howls the house down when he is hungry. If you acknowledge him he just howls louder. No hope of teaching him anything...

  14. Impressive! My little chunk Nugget likes to jump on the stove top when it is not clean and eat off all the dried on food. My partner has the theory that making a cat extremely overweight will make them more docile and pleasant...seeing as how you have a large kitty, is this true?

  15. Hahahahaha that is SO funny! I wish my cat would eat like that. I loooove fat cats!

    Speaking of animals eating strange things... Sometimes I put sticks of butter on my back porch to soften when it's warm outside. In the past 2 weeks, I've lost 2 sticks of butter to stray dogs that wandered into my yard and ATE them!

  16. I heard the same thing about lavender oil keeping spraying kitties away from their favourite spot. Ha! Felines rule, sucka humans.


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